


Surfacing

by Kitt_Katt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8x07, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Top Castiel, Wing Kink, Wings, supernatural season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:47:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11660988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitt_Katt/pseuds/Kitt_Katt
Summary: When Castiel comes back from Purgatory, Dean's guilt gets the best of him and results in anger towards the angel. It isn't till they have a moment alone that Castiel tells him the truth. He chose to stay behind but it isn't good enough for Dean. The feelings they have for each other finally come to a head.- "I love you.." Cas cut Dean off, turning the hunter around to look at him and his tear soaked cheeks. "I love you.. And I had to let you go."Dean was left in shock, the angry fire consuming his heart dimming low and the guilt somehow being swept away. What could he say? That he was mad at Cas for throwing him away because he loved him and knew the angel could never feel the same. That he continued to pray after escaping even though he knew Cas couldn't hear him, just because he hoped it might be a way to get him home; back to him. -(Not fully edited yet!)





	Surfacing

"Hello Dean.." The rough voice spoke as the hunter turned to face him after seeing him in the mirror. Cas looked so, worn out. His clothing dirty and ripped and his beard much longer than it had been when Dean last saw him in Purgatory. But oh was he happy. Happy his angel had come home; even though anger soon came to replace those feelings of glee. 

Sam had been ecstatic. Nearly bouncing out of his seat seeing Cas alive and somewhat well. Perhaps it was just one more person Sam had lost that year coming back to him; their hunter family feeling a bit more complete. Dean didn't want to believe it, nor did he want to get his hopes up that Cas would stay. How many times had he left them now? Well, it was his fault that Cas had remained stuck in that hell hole for so long. Oh he tried, he tried so hard to hold on, to get him out. But the angel slipped away and he was left with nothing but guilt. Now the questioned remained on Dean's mind of how Cas got out. The angel said he had no idea but Dean felt like there was more to it. Not that Cas was hiding anything from him, he seemed sincere in his words but there was no way, in how much they had to scratch, claw and kill their way to that portal that Cas suddenly got spat out for free.

They had saved Kevin once again from Crowley. They might have lost one half of the demon tablet but at least Kevin was alive, that's all that mattered to the brothers. But Cas had acted so irrationally and Dean really just wanted to punch that angel right in his moronic face for dashing in there half cocked and not yet strong enough to take on the king of hell. Yes, through sheer luck Castiel got out unscathed but he had just got him back and he goes and does something like this? Why couldn't Cas just listen to him? Or did he want to be going straight back to purgatory? What the hell was he thinking?

Dean was torn away from his thoughts as he heard the door to their room open and close. Looking up from his packing he saw Castiel standing there, hands stuffed in the large pockets of his now immaculate trench coat. The man certainly cleaned up well. His dark hair now fluffy and not full of grim and blood, the beard shaven made him looked years younger and that classic blue tie hanging of his neck brought Dean some sense of normalcy. 

"Can we talk?" The silence broke as Cas came to sit on the end of Dean's bed.

"I got nothing more to say to you than what I've already said.." He grumbled. The argument they had had earlier that night still fresh in his mind. 

> _'Getting me out of Purgatory was not your responsibility.'_  
>  _'You didn't.. Get out.. So who's fault was it!?'_  
>  _'It's not about fault! It's about will.. Dean do you really not remember?'_  
>  _'I lived it, Cas, I know what happened!'_  
>  _'No.. You think you know. You remembered it the way you needed to..'_  
>  _'Well I don't need to feel like hell, for failing you! Okay?' For failing you like I fail every godforsaken thing that I care about! I don't need it!'_  
>  _'Dean.. Just look at it.. Really look at it.' Cas raised his palm to the hunters head and made him remember, remember how things really happened. 'See it wasn't that I was weak or stronger than you. I pulled away. Nothing you could have done would have saved me because I didn't want to be saved.'_  
>  _'What the hell are you talking about?' But Cas wouldn't let him scold him further._  
>  _'It's where I belonged. I neede d to do penance for the things I did on Earth and in Heaven. I didn't deserve to be out. I saw that clearly when I was there. I planned to stay all along and I just didn't know how to tell you..'_
> 
> _Dean looked ready to cry but Cas continued, 'you can't save everyone.. Though you try..'_

"You didn't want to be saved.. I get it.. But maybe it wasn't just about you." Dean huffed as he zipped up his bag and began to leave, slinging the duffel on his shoulder and ready to open the door when Cas appeared in front of him. "Get out of my way.."

"I said I was with you two now.. I'm here.." He placed a hand on Dean's chest, keeping him from going forward. Dean dropped the bag on the ground and hung his head, keeping Cas from seeing the tears pooling in his eyes. Turning around sharply as he felt one fall. 

"I needed you.." His voice cracked slightly but he fought back the rest of the tears readying to fall. "And you let go.."

"Yes.. I did. I let go.." Cas stated plainly, there was no sugar coating it. "But you needed to go. I knew if I told you I was planning to stay you would have never left. The last thing I wanted was for you to be stuck there with me.."

"Well Sam moved on, I could have stayed, I would have been fine!"

"No! Because I refused to watch you getting stripped apart and worn down for my sake. I--"

"You what Cas? Thought I couldn't handle myself? Didn't want to be worried about my safety? I know you left me so that you could keep the leviathans off my ass but there was still every other fucking creature left that wanted to rip me right down to the bone! So you what? You couldn't be that concerned for me while you were on the redeeming road--"

"I love you.." Cas cut Dean off, turning the hunter around to look at him and his tear soaked cheeks. "I love you.. And I had to let you go. That was my ultimate sacrifice."

Dean was left in shock, the angry fire consuming his heart dimming low and the guilt somehow being swept away. What could he say? That he was mad at Cas for throwing him away because he loved him and knew the angel would never feel the same about him. That he continued to pray after escaping even though he knew Cas couldn't hear him, just because he hoped it might be a way to get him home; back to him. 

Suddenly Cas had his face cupped in his hands, thumbs gently wiping away his salty tears. "You mean so much to me and I couldn't have you suffer for my transgressions. I had to face the music alone." Dean was unsure if it was just his sleep deprived brain or because his vision was blurred from crying but he saw something jet black begin to extend out of the angel like a see through shadow, wrapping around him just as his arms pulled him into a hug. "Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?" Before waiting for an answer he kissed Dean right on the lips, gentle and loving before pressing their foreheads together. Dean was left breathless but his heart was never so overjoyed.

"You know why.. Why I had to find you.. Why I had to save you.." He mumbled out. Cas nodded. He had been able to feel the longing in Dean's heart for a long time now, but he never knew if he should act on it. He would live for an eternity more if he wasn't slain in battle and Dean would grow old and Cas didn't want him to grow old alone.

"I know. I've know for a while.. But I can't give you a normal life Dean.." 

"Is my life so normal right now?" The corners of his mouth twitched, trying to smile but still holding onto to his tears.

"I mean to grow old, have a life. When I saw you with Lisa and Ben." He paused, trying not to remember how far off the rails he went in order to preserve Dean's happiness but it had been for Dean. He would always protect Dean. "I realized then and there, I could never give you that."

"Maybe I didn't want that life.. I mean, a part of me did. I loved Lisa and I loved Ben as my own. But it wasn't real. It was a fairy tale and look what happened, it didn't last. Me, us, we know the life, it could.."

Cas knew what Dean was suggesting and lowered his gaze. "And what would you do if I die? Sell your soul? Let yourself whither away and forget to live?"

"It would at least be real.. If even for a moment.. It would be real." Dean bridged the distance with those words, seeing it was Castiel's wings wrapping around the two of them. He had never truly seen them before; just the shadowed outline of them. But he could see them like they were in full focus, like a barrier of glass was broken between them. Jet black feathers with the odd white one in his down and when the light caught them they shimmered a blue-green hue. "I see you.. And we can make it real.." Cupping the angels face he kissed him deeply, fingers entwining into his dark hair and enjoying the connection he felt. 

When Cas wrapped his arms around his hips he felt so alleviated, something stirred within him and he had never felt so sure of something in all of his life.

Taking a few steps he felt the back of his thighs bump into the small, cheep motel dinning table; Cas's hand on the small of his back almost pushing him further into it but their lips didn't break apart. Instead Dean teased his tongue at the angel's lips and let out a sigh as Cas reciprocated the action. Sliding his tongue into Dean's mouth with a moan as he tasted the remnants of cheep whiskey and fast food in his mouth. 

But whether Cas was too eager or hadn't done this in a while, Dean let out a small grunt and pulled back since he was nearly being bent backwards over the table. "How about the bed instead?" He was about to tease further but found himself awestruck at how Cas's pupils were blown wide with lust.

In a quick motion Dean found himself lying on his back on the bed. Cas looming over him and his wings spread. A few small black feathers fluttered down around them and he realized Cas had just teleported them to save time. "Really.. It was like three feet.." But Castiel just silenced him by reclaiming his mouth, fervently pulling his trench coat off as well as his suit jacket. "Cas..?" Dean groaned out between kisses. "Cas.." The angel finally tore himself away from his instinct of devouring the man with his lips. "Can I?" He reached up to the giant wings and ran his fingers over the smooth feathers.

Cas let out a groan he Dean could feel him shivering under his touch. "They.. Um.. Are very sensitive.." He blushed slightly, Dean pulled his hand back, but he would certainly be using that information to his advantage later. For now the wings came around both of them, creating this safe cocoon.

The angel pressed for more and Dean wouldn't deny him, all he wanted was Cas, he had decided that long ago. Hips bucking as Cas's fingers reached for the button on Dean's ripped jeans, fiddling with them for just a moment before getting it undone along with the zipper. Dean groan when he felt the angels mouth on his neck, his nerves being set alight from something so gentle yet so claiming. But just as he was starting to get lost in this a thought occurred to him. "W-Wait.. What about Sam..?" Not that his brother hadn't walked in on him before having sex but still this was Cas. 

"He's waiting.. In the car.. I told him I needed to talk to you alone..'" Cas grunted but Dean became lost in the humor of it. 

"So you planned this?"

"Not exactly but.. Maybe.. Yes I planned some of it in my head.." He murmured before continuing to kiss and nip at Dean's neck.

Dean began working at the button's on Cas's shirt as well as unfurling his tie, chucking it off to the side so he could get better access to all those pesky buttons. The closer he got to his waist line he went slower, more teasing until the last button gave way and he helped the angel rid himself of another article of clothing. Likewise, Cas helped Dean out of his flannel shirt and the black tshirt he wore under that. Leaving them both bare chested as they fought the other for more kisses; Dean running his fingers through Cas's hair as Cas trailed his fingers over Dean's exposed chest, tracing out the anti-possession tattoo over his heart.

Hands wandered lower as they panted against each others lips through sloppy kisses, a mess of limbs and feathered wings as they struggled for a few moments to get the others pants off. Cas found himself nestled between Dean's legs as the last pieces of clothing were thrown to the grown, leaving them bared and naked.

For the first time Dean felt nervous. Go figure. The Play Boy brother was nervous about having sex with someone he actually cared about, someone he truly loved. 

"I love you so much Dean.. Please.. Let me have you.." Cas leaned in, pausing for just a moment and miking sure this is what Dean truly wanted.

"I love you too Cas.." He kissed the angel gently before looking him in his baby blue eyes. "All I want is you.."

With that they resumed their fervent kissing as Cas's hand slid lower, finding Dean hard and giving him a few strokes to which he gave out a few stuttered gasps and groans. Fingers slipping lower he found Dean's entrance, and circled around it before breaching him gently. Dean's hips bucked at the intrusion, a slight burning feeling but he slowly let himself relax; knowing it was no good to tense his muscles. Cas slowly worked him open before sliding in another fingers, Dean gave a small hiss and Cas kissed him in apology. "Uh.. Bag.. There's a bottle.." The angel knew what he was hinting at and pulled back for a moment and stood, striding over to where Dean left his duffel. Riffling through to find the lube. Coming back, he grinned at the sight of Dean flushed, naked and panting on the messy bed spread. Nestling himself back between his legs he got his fingers nice and slick before entering him again. Much smoother this time and Dean let out a moan of pleasure. Soon enough Cas was able to add a third finger, stretching out that tight ring of muscle so this would be pleasurable for the both of them. 

Withdrawing his fingers he grabbed the bottle again, slicking up his own hardened member before swooping over Dean's eagerly awaiting body. 

The head of his cock pressed against the puckered hole, feeling some resistance but nonetheless easing in. Cas gave his own moan of pleasure as he filled Dean up, sliding right in to the hilt and pausing. Letting him get used to his girth and the sensation. Seeing Dean's cock leaking with precum he reached down and took it in hand, giving a few more strokes and Dean whined slightly as the angel pulled back before thrusting in again; every nerve in his body alight with pleasure as Cas found that sweet spot within him and hit it with precision. All the while his hand didn't stop it's movements as he pounded into him. 

Leaning back in Cas kissed at his neck, tongue swiping out and licking at the tensing muscles there. Dean continued to make such pleasing sounds with every thrust. Feeling himself close he could tell Dean wasn't that far off either. Picking up his pace he slammed into him quickly before stopping all together with a loud groan as he bit down hard on the flesh of his neck, tasting a small amount of copper as he released into Dean's body as Dean came all over his hand and their abdomens. 

Their bodies were sweaty, the air was thick with the scent of their coupling. It took Dean a while to finally open his green eyes and see Cas just looming over him, nothing but love in his eyes. Castiel pulled out of him and shuffled so he was spooning the hunter while he caught his breath; a wing covering them like a blanket as Cas kissed at his neck, healing the bite he had left there, but his possessive nature let a scar linger. 

"Please.. Don't ever leave me again.." Dean finally muttered out, tired eyes looking over his shoulder to his angel.

"I promise.."

A loud banging came a the door and Dean was too tired to even be surprised when Sam came barging in, covering his eyes in embarrassment when he saw the two of them together. Naked. Unlike Dean Sam couldn't see Cas's wings so he saw, pretty much everything else. "So this is what you two wanted to be alone for? You could have just told me and I would have headed down to the bar.." Sam said in a mocking tone before turning to leave. But before he closed the door before him he said with a smirk. "About fucking time!" Barely dodging a boot thrown at him as he slammed the door with teasing laughter.


End file.
